Random Thoughts

• Get it in writing. Verba volant, scripta manent. (Spoken words fly away, written words are permanent.)
• You can't win the lottery if you don't buy tickets, and you miss 100% of the shots you never take. But don't get goofy buying lottery tickets too often.
• There is nothing worth going to jail for. Nothing. Govern yourself accordingly.
• If you have a choice between being lucky or smart, choose lucky and ask for 2 more wishes.
• Instead of coveting what others have, tend to your own corner of the vineyard.
• Give respect when due and ask it of others.
• Don't let your mouth write checks your ass can't cash.
• There are old pilots and there are bold pilots. But there are no old bold pilots.
• If you're the boss, treat those below you as if it was vice-versa.
• When doing something complex repeatedly, get a system and master it.
• The words please and thank you buy more than you will ever know.
• Give thanks to your creator and the people that brought you to this moment.
• Do random acts of kindness. Do them anonymously if possible.
• Remember, what goes around comes around.
• If you live by the sword, you will die by the sword.
• Revenge is a dish you should never serve cold at all; that's a job for karma.
• Beware of shadenfreude (joy at others misfortunes); what goes around ...
• Fix the airplane on the ground, not in the air.
• Define the problem, define the goal ... and then implement action to achieve the goal. But don't keep moving the goal.
• Don't eat crap food regularly.
• Dispose of your trash properly and recycle as much as possible.
• Monitor your alcohol consumption, lest it consume you.
• Never interrupt your opponent when he is making a mistake.
• There are lies and there are lies. Know the difference.
• Measure twice, cut once.
• When speeding, don't be first and don't be last.
• Unless you're female, never shake a man's hand sitting down.
• If you're lucky enough to drive in the Indy or Daytona 500, don't turn right.
• Remember the golden rule: Those with the gold make the rules.
• Unless you can run faster than 3000 feet per second, don't run from the cops.
• Those that can afford it the least will pay the most.
• Beware of telephone callers with a Calcutta accent.
• If you serve food at a party, go through the garbage looking for your silverware after. Yeah, I was surprised too.
• Discard derogatory racial language from your vocabulary.
• The phone rings both ways.
• When approaching another car, boat, or airplane head-on, veer right.
• Dislike is okay. Hate is not.
• Know where you are on the ladder.
• If you convince yourself you can't do something, you're right. You can't.
• Leave things the way you found them.
• Choose your words carefully.
• Be aware of the coefficient of friction, especially in wet and cold temperatures.
• Eschew obfuscation.
• Sign your name to your work. Anonymous authors are usually cowards.
• Proofread your words twice.
• Beware the pitfalls of the stock market; don't spend more than you can afford to lose.
• When you're right, avoid telling people I told you so unless they really deserve it.
• When you're wrong, admit it and try to repair things. And then move on.
• Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
• Never refuse a breath mint when offered.
• Give of your time to those who deserve it.
• Swearing is okay sometimes. You'll know when sometimes is; it's when you swear.
• There is no such thing as painless dentistry, but going to the dentist is far better than not going.
• Money may not be able to buy happiness, but it can buy most everything else including misery.
• Today's speed warning sign is tomorrows speeding ticket in the same location.
• Resist the temptation to joke with the cop when he asks if you are drunk.
• Remember... no matter how smart you are, there is always somebody smarter.
• Don't buy tickets to a discount bungee-jumping event.
• Sign the organ donor part of your drivers license.
• The hardest part of writing a book is not the writing, it's the editing.
• If counting to 10 doesn't work, keep counting.
• You never get a second chance to make a good first impression.
• Don't tell the funeral director See you soon. He just might.
• You may not be able to take it with you, but you can probably wear the hell out of it out before you leave.
• 86.377% of statistics are made up on the spot.
• Never hand a knife to somebody who already stabbed you in the back once.
• Sometimes, winning is losing and vice-versa.
• The news media may be free, but it is far from responsible.
• Teach your children well.
• Trust your gut instincts. They have nothing to gain from lying to you.
• Choose your charities and vices carefully.
• Act surprised at surprise parties thrown for you.
• Remember, slim chance and fat chance mean the same thing.
• Never say never.
• Don't be a complete horse's ass. Being one partly is bad enough.
• Life is tough. It's even tougher when you're stupid.
• Money is a wonderful slave, but a horrible master.
• A mistake repeated more than once is a choice.

And finally ... Be careful what you pray for; you might just get it. Sometimes more tears are shed over answered prayers than over unanswered prayers.