Now for National Politics: The Humor is the Profit

Last week I received an unexpected piece of mail. It was a request for a political donation from a US Senator from the Boston area. Yes, Ms. Elizabeth Warren has somehow decided that I am friendly to her views and that I might be inclined to donate money to her "grassroots" cause. Ms. Warren couldn't be more mistaken; I am not one of her supporters and if there ever was a lesson in grassroots politics, it came from the current 45th President who recently demonstrated how to get elected as a populist. Here is some of her propaganda:

Yeah, I couldn't help but laugh. Ooh scary! The GOP's heavy hitters are here and We'll win if we're united were real gut-busters, but the best one was Thank you for being a part of this. ... Which almost is as humorous as your claim that Breibart is taking aim at you and using some billionaire to do it. Why, the nerve! I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess it's not Bloomberg or Soros. To add insult to injury, you resort to the politics of fear in your message and of course, that's page two out of Saul Alinsky's handbook for anarchists. Or is it page three? And FWIW, Breibart is taking aim at all of the liberal left, not just you. But really, aren't you taking aim at each other every day?

No thanks, Elizabeth. You are one of the last people I will consider donating to in this upcoming political season. I'm thinking more that I'll contribute to the Conservative Republican representing the Congressional district I live in next year. So that you don't think I'm some sort of sexist white supremacist, my Representative is Claudia Tenney and she's much more in tune with how Upstate NY thinks than you are.

But thank you for sending out a mailing to somebody that doesn't think very highly of you or your politics. It is always good to see the opposition at work, and it's good to see you work so hard 'protecting Americans' as if your party is the only one interested in doing so. (They're not, FWIW.) The last time I mentioned you online, I used a term to describe you that upset some of my kin: I called you Fauxcahontas and they expressed displeasure. Personally, I can't think of any one word that describes you better and it comes from ... ah, let's say you got mixed up in the Brian Williams era and conflated the claim that you were part native American. I'd like to congratulate you for choosing Cherokee; it's the same tribe Bill Clinton used when he said one of his grandmothers was Cherokee. I can't find a popular male native name to put faux in front of that quite has the ring of your popular nickname, but we all know Bill Clinton and his wife as ... well, let's just say they are economical with the truth just as you seem to be.

There’s a running joke in Indian country: If you meet somebody who you wouldn’t necessarily think is Native, but they say they’re Native, chances are they’ll tell you they’re Cherokee.

Thank you for choosing the left fork of the road in claiming your false heritage. I read your two-page letter and I already know about the "fight." Problem is, Ms. F. Cahontas, the side in the fight you've been waging since Election Day 2016 (I love the Youtube videos showing you say Donald Trump will never be President)  is not the side I'm on. Frankly, I view you as an obstructionist.

And after researching your net worth online, it appears you are one of the 1% ! A $2.4 million dollar house in Cambridge and a DC Condo at 3/4 of a mil don't really put you in the trenches at a 9-5 job every day. Looking at net worth is always subjective, but yours seems to be quite a bit more than mine. I'm not sure how Harvard law professors who taught one class get to be worth ... $5 to $10 million, but it seems your luck got better since you were elected. Now tell us about giving you money again. All I can think of you at this point is as a mendicant begging for alms when in fact you've never been in the bread line in your life.

So please forgive me for not sending you money. It seems you have plenty already, and as I always say, put your money where your mouth is, Ms. Cahontas.

Your friend,

-Don

PS: I'm going to go out on a limb here and paraphrase you: You will never be President. God help us if you ever are.