Wednesday, July 17, 2019

The New Revised American Un-PC Dictionary

In this divided country new political words and terms are emerging almost daily and many of them are confusing to the uninformed reader.  As a descendant of the famous Webster family (yes, really) I hereby seize this unique lineage qualification and appoint myself chief cook and bottlewasher of the new Un-PC dictionary until further notice. Complaints about this appointment can be made on the 3rd Tuesday of every month, except in months with a vowel in their name.

Affirmative Action: The placement of lesser-qualified people over higher-qualified people into a job or position based simply on having non-white skin. In specialized fields such as medicine or air traffic control, this results in a higher mortality rate.

Anchor Baby: A legal citizen of the United States with parents that aren't.

Antifa: A group of violent fascists dedicated to anti-fascism and the cessation of violence by using violence. While violently protesting, they cover their faces with hoodies and do-rags because they are proud of themselves. Like cockroaches, they slither away into the cracks and crevasses until their next planned riot.

Bisexual: A person that engages in sexual intercourse once every 6 months, or 2 years if they misunderstood what "bi" means.

Boomerang Generation: Young to middle-aged adults who have had every resource given to them while growing up and yet somehow end up moving back into their parents house, often in the basement. See also Failed Fledglings and Parasite Singles.

Colin Cancer: A disease resulting from wearing or purchasing anything with the Nike logo on it.

Doxx: Collect and/or display private information about somebody on social media, or what Antifa likes to do to others but does not want done to themselves.

Food Stamps: Formerly, expensive small pieces of paper meant to purchase food that often ended up being exchanged at a discounted rate for beer or cigarettes. Now, a plastic card loaded with money from taxpayers that allows non-working people to have their cake and eat it too.

Free Health Care for Illegals: The new idea Socialist-Liberal Democrats want after forcing citizens to pay for health insurance under penalty of a fine if they don't. Americans will not only continue to pay for health insurance for themselves but also pay increased insurance premiums as a result of those illegals who don't have to pay.

Gaslighting: Psychological manipulation that encourages a person to ignite their own flatulence.

Helicopter Parents: Parents (usually liberal) who hover over their children so much that they cut their heads off with the rotors of the helicopter without intending to do so ... rendering their children ineffective for the rest of their lives.

Illegal Alien: An extraterrestrial being with an unregistered ray-gun.

Metrosexual: A musical time-keeping device used to regulate the rhythm of sexual intercourse.

Millenial: A young adult in the 21st century who thinks the world owes them a million dollars.

Late-Term Abortion: The entire NY State Legislature and Governor ... and many blues states also.

Liberal: A copious quantity. Ex: Please butter my popcorn liberally. Or, a person who wants you to pay for the butter on their popcorn and ... their popcorn too. Somehow, they never manage to pay for yours. See also Socialism.

Libtard: A colloquialism derived from Liberal and Retard;  Liberal, meaning free with other peoples money and Retard, meaning slow, as in mental capacity.

Obama Happy-Meal: The free meal the person in line ahead of you gets when they order whatever they want and then tell the counter person to hand you the bill.

Obama-Phone: An electronic device that involuntarily takes money out of taxpayers pockets.

Racist: See white supremacist below.

Reverse Racism: Hating people of any color while backing a car up.

Sanctuary City: A high-tax and high-crime area with prosperous camping-equipment merchants and fecal-laden sidewalks. See also Tent Cities.

Snowflake: A delicate symmetrical 6-sided ice crystal that falls from the sky and melts unpredictably, not unlike some easily-offended liberals.

Socialism: A system whereby able-bodied people who refuse to work legally steal from those who do. Also know as Communism lite.

TDS: Trump Deranged Syndrome. See also https://donbackman.blogspot.com/2019/03/a-new-mental-disease-in-america.html

TMI: Too much information, a term that describes the false notion that others need to be informed about your personal lives, including your sexual preferences and what you had for dinner last night.

Tribal: A derogatory label usually used on social media to describe a conservative who made better arguments in an on-line debate.

Undocumented Worker: A person ignoring the immigration laws of the United States who promises to follow the laws of the United States if we just ignore the law.

Welfare: A system of economic redistribution that is neither well or fair for those who pay for it but receive nothing in return.

White Privilege: A term describing an imaginary state of racial superiority that OJ Simpson, Jussie Smollett, Michael Jackson, Al Sharpton, Jessie Jackson, Kim Foxx, Ilhan, Rashida, Alexandra and other famous POC use (or have used) but don't quite understand the irony of.

White Supremacist: Every white person that was ever born.

White Supremacy: A term used by lazy or noncompetitive people who failed in life to shift blame from themselves to others that actually worked for what they have.

No comments:

Post a Comment

In Their Own Words: Why Liberalism is a Mental Disease

  Politics are funny, but they're also serious. The political and media arena generate the people that make important decisions or peddl...